Dear American Friends

American friends, I have some questions for you

That’s it. I’ve had it. After years and years of having to explain and re-explain a certain holiday to my friends from the US, I think we should take back our Thanksgiving

A pile of brightly-coloured maple leaves
Autumn leaves. Maple leaves, to be specific. (image credit: Greg Shield on Unsplash)

(Ahem.)

So… what’s “American Thanksgiving” about? I mean, what do you celebrate? 

What? And the Native Canadians saved the explorers/invaders’ lives by sharing their harvest in the US too? 

Oh, you have Native Americans? Huh. That’s weird.

Well, what kind of food do you eat? 

Turkey, like us? Really? What about for dessert? 

Oooo, pumpkin pie? 

Imagine that.

Wasn’t Thanksgiving back in October, though? Why do you have it at the end of November, when it’s really cold and snowy? That’s crazy.

Back to those “Native Americans”…do you think the same white men just docked their boats further south, like, two months later, and different First Nations people came to help them? 

Maybe? Could that have happened?

Anyway, happy “American Thanksgiving!” (If that’s really a thing.)

Fartees. Man, I’m funny. (image credit: author’s own)

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